Ain't she pretty? I call her Edina. Edina the Accordion.
I got cast in The Hub Theatre’s Act A Lady last fall. My character is (among many other wonderful
things) an accordion teacher. In spite of agreeing to do the show many months
ago, I went through Winter and Spring without so much as LOOKING at an accordion. I
picked up my new love at the end of the first week of rehearsal. I put it on
upside down. No one else in the room knew enough to correct me. Thank you,
Internetz.
And now I have to play one. In front of people. Did I mention
I first picked up an accordion about three weeks ago?
Anyone who has worked with me on music before knows that I
have this issue when it comes to learning music. I get a little intimidated
when I am unsure of what I’m doing. I psych myself out. Perhaps I am a
perfectionist, but two words: accordion
teacher. And while I've been working VERY HARD to learn how to play, how to
coax something out of the squeezebox that sounds something akin to music, I
still have clumsy fingers, wrong notes in my head, etc. And yesterday's rehearsal--ah, well: let's just say, I was trying too hard and as a result just plain sucked. And no, no one else told me that. Some things you just know.
As I was driving to work this morning, feeling fairly glum,
fairly dog-with-tail-between-the-legs, I realized that the only person that would
enable me to get better was, well: me. That I could be all scaredy-cat and intimidated
by playing an instrument, because who the hell learns to be proficient on an
instrument in a month? Or I could just enjoy the fact that I get to play an
accordion. All the fabulous folks
involved in this production are rooting for me to play well. It’s not like I’m
whipping out the accordion for no darn reason and inflicting my squonks and off-key ditties on reluctant ears—I have people who are counting on me. So I could
feel that phrase “counting on me” as a heavy weight on my shoulders (i.e., my
usual routine, which leads to stress and rashes on my hands), or I could change
it up a bit and feel pretty darn grateful that I got cast in a show where I get
to play a new instrument.
And while all of this is not rocket science, it is a lesson in getting yourself out of a rut, out of routine reactions to situations, be it self-conscious or not. Have you ever sighed to yourself, "here we go again!" Well, it doesn't have to be that way, does it? Can't it be, "I need to look at this situation differently, or I'll end up feeling like poop again." Life is too short to feel like poop, particularly when it's good things that are challenging you.
Okay: that’s off my chest. I gotta go warm up my fingers.
