I was so excited to attend my first ASAE conference. First, it was in Los Angeles, and I have good friends who live in Los Angeles. Second, I'm starting on a great professional development path and felt I could learn from subject matter experts as well as contribute to discussions. Third, I was involved in a video shoot that I was told would be presented during the three General Sessions. Also, I knew some of my Twitter friends were going to be there and I would get to see them in person for the first time.
I arrived wide-eyed and anticipatory. I left feeling QUITE unsettled. And then I was unsettled because I was unsettled. I was UBER unsettled.
But I had been presented with so many great opportunities: I got some amazing takeaways from my sessions (Kathleen Edwards: I wish you were my mentor); I hugged Deirdre Reid. I spent three days in humidity-free weather. Seriously--so much good in my world.
In hindsight, I should have become more involved with ASAE prior to the meeting, created some deeper connections instead of wandering aimlessly around the Exhibit Hall, and left that Pixar session when I knew I wasn't getting anything out of it (shoulda went to the mobile messaging session). Also, I gotta be honest: I suck mightily at networking. Why can't people see that I'm interested in them and come to ME? It would make life so much easier. So I need to jump of that cliff sooner rather than later. Too bad I didn't realize that last week, because frankly, I felt like the kid standing outside a candy shop, nose pressed to the glass.
I got the image here
So, yeah: I've got some stuff to work on before I attend my next conference. But there's one issue remaining for which I can do nothing:
As Director of Education, I work a lot with volunteers. In fact, today I participated in a committee meeting comprised of 11 of our members from all over the country. The first thing that happened at dinner last night and at the meeting this morning was senior staff got up and thanked the group for taking time out of their busy schedules for being there.
I almost cried when my CEO thanked the committee this morning. Dramatic, I realize. And now I know exactly why.
No one on the ASAE staff who was involved with the planning and execution of the Annual Meeting ever thanked me for my work on the Guilt by Association video.
Now I don't give a rat's patootie what folks think about the video. That's a whole other blog post and there's lots more folks who can write much better on that topic. The results of the video shoot is not the point. I. Was. Never. Thanked. Even when the ASAE senior staff was on the set, none of them said a word to me.
I'm sure most folks realize that shooting what was originally a 30-minute video is not a walk in the park. I took a week out of my work schedule, supplied my own wardrobe, got up at o'dark thirty in the morning, drove from Capitol Hill to the bowels of Alexandria, VA and left at o'dark thirty in the evening. I pulled a muscle from sitting on the floor for eight hours a day four days in a row. Some of my fellow actors used their vacation time to do the shoot--most of them didn't even get to come to the meeting. ASAE seemed to forget that they were utilizing their members, not just using talent hired by their production company. We were volunteers.
I am the first one to admit that my contributions as an actor in a silly video are not going to move the association forward. And yes, getting to say the words "fennel danish" and "kimchi hummus" are a heck of a lot more fun than strategic planning. So maybe those reasons are why ASAE thought putting energy into the words "thank you" was not worth their time. But I know how appreciative my committee members are when the CEO (or even little me) shakes their hand and says, "We really appreciate what you're doing for us." Given that, I don't think that it's too much to ask.
The wonderful folks at PCI Communications (who did a great job at producing the video and the General Sessions) are going to host a party for the cast and show us the "director's cut" in a few weeks. Perhaps ASAE will be there and maybe then a muchas gracias will fill the air. But I won't be waiting for it, or expecting it.
So instead of them thanking me, I'd like to thank ASAE. Thank you for bringing home the fact that a small gesture of appreciation goes a long way with a hard-working volunteer. And you're welcome.
Oh, Toni, that is so distressing and maddening. We should never be so busy or so self-important that we don't take the time to thank our volunteers. I'm flabbergasted.
ReplyDeleteJust so you know. The videos were definitely funny and enjoyable and it was nice to almost meet you in real life that way. But the hug was much better! I do have some beefs about the videos as general session content, as you might know from my comment on Maddie's blog, but they have nothing to do with the work of the cast. You all were great and I was proud for you. They should have at least brought you up on stage for a final curtain call. There were certainly enough places where they could cut back on other parts of the program, god knows.
Thank you for representing the membership. We are proud!
Agh, Toni - I wish I could have helped make your ASAE10 experience better! But I know exactly how you feel - my rant about "unrequited love" and all the rest is pretty much deep down the same topic as this.
ReplyDeletePart 1 of your post is why I bit my tongue and figured I was the only one who felt a little ripped off (that, and the fact that I received a scholarship so felt like I shouldn't complain about the $1000 that I did spend). I didn't know anyone there and that comment about being on the outside of the window is exactly how I felt! I need to work on that. But there is plenty of room for improvement on the ASAE side too.
ReplyDeletePS - Thank you:) I missed the end but can't believe you all managed to take so much time to put that together for us!
I had the pleasure of meeting some, not all, of the UBER TALENT that participated in the video. While I didn't get the context of it all, I did comment to friends about the effort that must have gone into shooting it from people who are Assoc Execs just like me. Now knowing exactly what you gave up for this, from me, from all the way down here - THANK YOU.
ReplyDeleteToni - Sorry we didn't get to meet IRL. You and the rest of the cast did a great job and I thank you for putting in the time. (I will leave the content of the video out of it)
ReplyDeleteToni, Thank you for taking time to do the video and for taking time to write this post. Sorry we didn't know each other nor find a way to connect at #ASAE10. Hopefully, we in St. Louis will find a way "through the system" to be a more inviting community for #ASAE11.
ReplyDeleteSteve
ni:
ReplyDeleteThank you, thank you, thank you for having the courage to speak up and let people know how you felt. I didn't get to meet you and wish I had! Hopefully by ASAE11, we'll be on each other's radar.
What a disappointment that ASAE did not have a first-timers session to meet others. Even more disappointing is that some ASAE staff does not have manners and common decency to thank people.
So thank you, thank you, thank you.
Toni,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your efforts for the video. While many of us didn't get the video it was obvious the cast worked hard to make it successful. Thanks for all you did.
Let's hope ASAE learns from your experience and remembers to than its members and volunteers. As well as have more activities and ways for new people to feel a part of the meeting.
Toni,
ReplyDeleteAlthough it's been a number of years, I still remember CLEARLY what it's like to go to your first ASAE event and feel like the only one who has no friends. And even though we all know, intellectually, that association people like to, you know, ASSOCIATE, it's still really intimidating to try to join conversations when it feels like you are, or might be, intruding.
I definitely agree that we need to help ASAE figure out better ways to incorporate new attendees and make them feel welcome. Ideas?
Also, thank you for the hard work you and the rest of the team put in on Guilt by Association.
Toni, it's hard to mingle with a bunch of strangers, especially when packs of people attend from the same association and some people bring their spouses. They just hang together and don't talk to anyone else.
ReplyDeleteAssociation life (and getting older) has taught me how to be more outgoing. I talk to folks at workshops and approach people who are standing alone at social functions. They may just be waiting for someone to say hello.
Toni--a) I'm glad I found your blog through Maddie's and b) I cannot believe that nobody from ASAE thanked you guys! To me this is another perfect example of the "unrequited love" Maddie talks about. You all took days off from your jobs and put yourselves out there because you are passionate about ASAE and the association world. Yet not so much as a thank you from them? That just makes me sad.
ReplyDeleteNo way! Toni, you are so amazing that it was everyone's loss not to have the chance to talk with you.
ReplyDeleteI hate that I didn't have a chance to see you more and remember feeling the same way you describe above with my first ASAE Annual Meeting.
The cast was the *best* part about Guilt By Association. Great concept, but the way it played out was hard to get into for folks. You were great in it!
I wish I'd known how you felt before...I would have invited you to come along with me to stuff. I just figured you had some other crew you were hanging out with. Next time we'll exchange cell numbers, okay?
Thanks so much for your responses, everyone! I wasn't expecting (or asking for) anyone to thank me, so to get a bajillion thank you's just made my day.
ReplyDeleteIn light of reading how my link on the Acronym blog is being published (that I was "disappointed" in my experience), I just want to reiterate that I take full responsibility for how my experiences at the meeting turned out, that the cast and crew with whom spent a grueling but fun week were amazing, but I AM disappointed in how I and the others in the cast were pretty much ignored by the ASAE senior staff. Hope that's crystal clear.
When you ask newcomers to ASAE when they felt most connected to the community, many will often say that it was once they entered volunteer service (in the formal structure). They had a group of people they knew and there were events planned for them to attend. Those connections amde it easier to contribute and to expand their network.
ReplyDeleteWe won't get people to volunteer at all if they have experiences like yours. It's all too easy to get so caught up in "doing the work" that we forget how expressing our genuine heartfelt appreciate is the currency which keeps the workers feeling good about the time and talent they are donating. Too bad you weren't appropriately "paid" for all your time and effort.
Outgoing as I am, I also don't strike up conversations with complete strangers as easily as I do with people I've met or when I have something compelling to talk about. Conferences need to make it easier for both of those factors to increasingly be present.
Many professional societies offer expansive on-site volunteering opportunities that fulfill these needs. Break down a job into a lot of small tasks and let people sign up on-site to take a shift. Sure, it requires more management and coordination, but the value of engaging dozens, if not hundreds more, attendees in making useful contributions while connecting with new colleagues is pretty invaluable.